put on the crab legs, i am getting out!

along with much brine, i require 10-25lbs of sea food a day. i prefer shell fish, and squid. although much lower on the evolutionary scale, it is serendipitous that squid are a close enough relative, that i can also mate with them. i have had many fond occasions to eat a squid at the height of ecstasy. i know you are saying that it is no better than putting a gerbil to death in your rectum, but i differ. in my culture, it is the highest complement to take the life of a lover in the height of ecstasy. wouldn't you like to go out in the height of ecstasy, rather than the small and dreadful manner in which you shall pass? i digress! i have held many jobs at fish markets. these times i have my mainstay shipped frozen, but i still like to go out and mingle, with the humans, possibly pick one up for a late night snack. I go to the all-you-eat Chinese buffet. plenty of squid. i am always in awe of the clientele. are there try outs for Jerry Springer next door? i would guess Chinese buffet is what sounds good after a hard day of crack. "when did you get out?" is often heard. i think they give a 50% off the Chinese buffet coupon with early release. "here is your buffet coupon, don not forget to show up for your probation appointments." and do not they love those crab legs. like this must be what its like to be rich, eating all the crab legs you want. this must be what gold tastes like. they bring out a tray of crab legs and two men fill six plates, and the lower in the pack order stand there and say, "got any more crab legs? got any more crab legs?" until they bring more. crab legs are shit. they are difficult to get the meat unless you have mandibles appropriate for cracking shell, and the meat is not really worth the effort. you know i have found the humans who fight for crab legs to be much the same. too much blubber to go through for bland meat.